Americans are paying up to $2,000 to have pumpkins arranged on their porches - and one Texas side hustle turned it into a six-figure franchise

Pumpkin patches can be fun, but what if you don’t have time, you’re allergic to hay, or you accidentally snap the stem off every pumpkin you try to pick up? Well, capitalism’s got you covered. Porch decorating businesses are popping up all over the country, ready to bring the pumpkin patch to your doorstep.

Squashbucklers: From delivery to assembly, porch stylists—also known as pumpkin concierges—will handle the whole decoration process. Their fees range from a couple hundred dollars to $2,000, depending on how jealous you want to make your neighbors. They may even source more exotic fare, like those gourds that look like they were designed by Dr. Seuss. People are willing to pay:

Some porchscape professionals will even clean things up for you after the holiday, unless you want to leave those jack-o’-lanterns out until New Year’s to really give your overzealous homeowner’s association something to cry about.

’Tis the season: Porch decorating is basically the spooky equivalent of professional Christmas light installation, which is now a $3.5-billion-a-year industry, according to Market Report Analytics.— BC